Last week included alot of important dates both for the world, and for me.
4/11/08 For Americans, and to an extent the rest of the world, a turning point in history, and a new hope. I wanted so much to say last week that I am so happy for, and proud of all of the Americans who voted for a new and exciting future, and against prejudice and pointless war.
My husband and I sat up till 4.30 British time,because we couldn't bear to go to sleep, and miss a moment of history we were hoping desperately for, but had no say in.
5/11/08 Guy Fawkes' Night - A happy occasion, which celebrates The Gunpowder Plot - a political revolutionary groups attempt to blow up the houses of parliment after years of tyranny. Throughout my childhood, this was a time in which we lit bonfires, watched fireworks, ate hot food outside, and had fun. At the centre of this fun was my mum, a person who founds excitement in the fun, and in the happiness of her children.
This day for me is also the day my mum died, 5 years ago. It has always been a bit jarring for me to celebrate it since, as this day, this week, is a difficult one for me. This year, I went, with my husband, to the locally organised fireworks displays. I am both proud of myself for going, and emulating my mum in being part of the community, for that she certainly was. In enjoying myself there, and remembered Bonfire nights' past, I feel I was remembering her in the best way I could, remembering her at her best and happiest.
7/11/08 Would have been my mum's birthday. I celebrated this, by having her favourite cream cakes with people from work, who had sweetly remembered me mentioning this family tradition.
9/11/08 An ordinary day for me. This day I spent with family, My new family. In being part of this family, I find that I often feel that I am 'one of the children' again. In that, I mean that I don't have to have all the answers, that there is an element of having parents. This isn't a replacement for the lovely parent I had(I won the parent lottery, it has to be said), and I wouldn't want it to be, but it is nevertheless a comforting thing.
This year, I have gotten past some of the pain and sadness I have felt in past years. It's always there, theres always a wee bit of something missing, but I have truly managed to remember the good times, and remember my mum as the fun loving, outgoing, loving person she was. It seems this is the key.
